August/September Update

Hello again everyone, thank you for being so very patient with me these past few weeks. Things outside of here have been piling up and taking a toll on me both physically and mentally and it is showing in my work, and the lack there of.

So with this in mind today’s post will be kind of long because I wanted to talk about a major artist problem, and that’s depression. Personally I have been diagnosed with MDD, or Massive Depressive Disorder, which means that I go through very long periods of mental depression that can last 2-5 years at a time on average. Knowing this though I try my best to remember that I’m not alone in this, and I reach out to some friends, but mostly professionals because I feel that I leave undue burdens on those closest to me when I talk about my mental health.

As an artist it is very difficult to function when there is a “bad day” or worse, a string of them. When these days happen it feels awful, you don’t want to draw, even if you have the ideas and the images in your head you can’t seem to force yourself to even grip your pencil. Your favorite music that helps put you in the zone doesn’t work, your favorite drink tastes bland, and all of your colors look ┬álike the wrong ones to make what you want to make. All in all it just feels like nothing will work, so there’s really no point in trying because you’ll just make a mistake and then get even more angry.

Now the above is just one rendition of this mess affecting artists, and others, and of course we all want to know so we can share experiences, perhaps tips and tricks; but what does any of that do?

Personally I’d like to find a way to get a few other depressed artists out there together, so that we could all be in a room or walking around and not just talk about our collective troubles with mental health, but also form a network and perhaps even work through our issues with our art. I know I get inspired when I hear a popular artist say in a post, or a video, that they’ve struggled with depression or lack of motivation, creativity, whatever. It makes me feel better, like there’s hope of a way out, or a super special secret way to make the problem just disappear! Part of it’s true, and part of it’s not; I say this because depression is different with everyone, and while a majority of us suffering from it share symptoms, it isn’t a cookie cutter formula for success when you watch a popular artist on YouTube or Instagram telling you how they get through theirs. This of course isn’t meant to discredit those artists, I’m actually quite happy that they found a way to handle their mental health in a positive way and offer their experiences to others; I know how personal that can be so seeing others is still helpful, just not as much as I know myself and I’m sure others would like it to be.

So with that in mind, I’d like to offer my own take. Try to keep going, think of it like a series you’re watching, just one more episode. Remember to eat and drink plenty of water, try reading a good book or cuddle up with a friend or a loved one. Help is always out there, it’s difficult to reach out because you’ll leave yourself open; but being shut in only will make those voices of anxiety and self-doubt louder if you’re locked in there with them.

I hope everyone is doing well, and continues to do so. I’ve started enacting a plan of action to help me battle my issues as well as keep an active life. I know it won’t make the depression go away, but hopefully I can be like the people who inspire me, and help inspire others the way they do.

Enjoy a doodle featuring a sad looking king with a demon on his shoulder.

Statue Study
A quick sepia tone study

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